Are you ready for a relationship? | How to make a guy like you

Are you ready for a relationship? | Are you fit for love? How to make a guy like you

www.girltalkwithguys.com

Kev hick talks life channel



Sometimes love can’t just meet us where we are. Sometimes we need to make some adjustments. Sometimes we need to make some improvements. Sometimes we need to practice some self mastery before love can find us. It’s not always the other person. Sometimes we are toxic. We are the problem.

Story time...
A lot of y’all might get this. I grew up in the projects. The hood. A bad neighborhood. Trying to find love as a unchecked damaged person can be like trying to order food or pizza in a bad neighborhood. I remember being hungry as a kid. Asking my mom can we order a pizza or sub. If she said yes, that was just the first obstacle overcome. I next had to do the much harder task of finding a restaurant that delivered to our shitty neighborhood. I would call place after place. They would answer...
“Papa John’s pizza😁 Hey do y’all deliver in hilltop homes, oh ok.” “Cassanos pizza😁, Hey deliver to hilltop homes, oh ok” This would go on until I found a restaurant desperate enough for a sale or brave enough to send an employee to my neighborhood. As a kid I would jump for joy if someone finally said yeah, we deliver over there, would you like to hear our special for the evening.

I suppose this is a good illustration of why impoverished children often grow to have such low standards for themselves as adults. In elementary school I would often see classmates work to get straight A’s because they wanted to be doctors and lawyers. My 4 c’s and 2 b’a were sufficient for my goal at 10 years old. Which was just to live in a neighborhood that every restaurant delivered to. Or to drive 1 thousand dollar car with 3 thousand dollar rims on it. Or to wear really nice clothes around my really bad neighborhood. You develop the standards of your tribe and surroundings.

It’s hard to be successful if you haven’t experienced or witnessed successful people. If you have no real reference to what success looks or feels like.

Just the same, moving away from the example of poverty...it’s hard to be a healthy lover if you’ve never experienced or witnessed healthy love. It’s hard to be a great communicator if you’ve never been a recipient of great communication. If you’ve never seen a healthy argument between two people who love each other it’s a talk task to develop non destructive ways of communicating anger and frustration.

If you’ve been exposed to a toxic relationship for long enough or grew up around toxic people there’s a high likelihood that you yourself have become like the people or environment you were exposed to.

It’s possible that you’ve become the bad neighborhood or dangerous decision for someone seeking love. Maybe like my old neighborhood, love don’t deliver over there. We often look outward to find reasoning for our experiences. That habit misdirects us many times.

As many if you know I do phone consultations. Many times a person who is ill equipped to date or love will. The person who is clearly the toxic issue will order a call to ask me whats wrong with the person they are involved with or chasing. They have considered everything but their own shortcomings.

Their standards for themselves, their love, and communication have been set so low, that they are finding it hard attract or keep their partners.

They don’t realized don’t realize that what they have offered thus far is unacceptable by many people’s standards. That they themselves offer a sort of impoverished love. Many are impoverished mentally emotionally intellectually and spiritually. They sometimes lack real intimacy and the ability to trust or adapt. People with better emotional backgrounds or healthier relationship experiences aren’t going to accept toxicity that you’re accustomed to receiving and offering.

Going back to my example, although we could have driven to any restaurant to give pick up food. They all would have taken our money. Very few restaurants were desperate enough for a sale that they would deliver to us.

In the same way there’s no shortage of men who will take your sex. But few are desperate enough to take your snip and deliver their love to you if you are toxic. If you’re in a bad place emotionally most won’t go there to meet you. Because after a man measures your hips, thighs, as, and tips, he assesses whether or not you are safe, like those restaurants did my neighborhood.

Access yourself honestly. If you’re not having success with connecting with men on more than a sexual level make sure the other things you are presenting are desirable. Make sure that you are a safe place for love. Make sure you aren’t in need of counseling, rehabilitation, or some self mastery before you just give up or get desperate......continued

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